Finding Power in Change: My Journey

Introduction

I feel like I'm avoiding recovery. I have so many things to journal about to help me get unstuck, but I'd rather just avoid it. Do you feel the same way?

For context, I recently broke up with my boyfriend, not because I no longer loved him, but because our paths were no longer aligned. I was living with him, and suddenly I found myself homeless. I naturally fled to Florida, as Illinois was far too cold and not the best place to heal. Plus, being here with my family brings me a lot of comfort. To get to the point, though, I've been feeling very uncertain about my next steps and what's ahead for me. This is my chance to start a new chapter, but I just feel STUCK.

In this blog post, I will summarize how I used tarot and journaling to understand why I feel so stuck and how it has helped me better understand my feelings. If you're in a similar situation, I hope this inspires you to let go of what no longer serves you and start building your self-confidence.

Daily Intention

Every morning, I pull a daily intention card. The purpose of this practice is to focus on how I want to show up for the day. The card provides insights into my current state and how I can align my actions to be more present and intentional with my thoughts. Today, I pulled the Nine of Wands in the reversed position. I have a super awesome Tarot Cheat Sheet available on my website for you to download and learn more about the meanings! Essentially, this card signifies feeling exhausted, burned out, overwhelmed, and like you literally cannot stand up or get up anymore.

That's exactly how I've been feeling. Racing thoughts, overthinking, and just mental exhaustion without any resolution coming my way. It got me thinking - what am I holding onto? I'm obviously anxious about the future, but why am I not embracing change? Am I just running away from my problems, scared, stuck in my comfort zone, harboring unresolved emotional attachments, unable to let go of an idealized version of something, or obsessing about how things "should be"? ALL OF THE ABOVE! Haha! So, what do I do?

Situation, Action, & Outcome

The next part of the tarot spread following the daily intention is to pull cards for the situation, action, and outcome. I want to understand my current situation, what advice the universe has for me, and the potential outcome if I take this advice.

I pulled the Nine of Cups (situation), Eight of Cups Reversed (action), and the Knight of Cups Reversed (outcome). This indicates hesitation to move forward due to fear, with the action being to focus on self-awareness - why am I holding on? What would truly bring me peace?

The message is clear - slow down and let go of control. I'm afraid I'll fall into the same relationship pattern as before. I had an idealized version of what life "should" look like: a stable home, buying a boat, traveling. But that's all made up in my head! Is that what I TRULY want? Even when I had those things, I still felt stuck in my comfort zone and increasingly fearful of stagnation. I wasn't lighting up the way I want to or showing up in the world in alignment with my authentic self. I feel stuck, uncreative, and isolated because I'm not surrounded by like-minded people.

So, what really sparks my passion? Where does my energy naturally flow? I love being in a warmer climate, working around others, being close to the water, reading, indulging my curiosity, learning, pursuing truth, engaging in meaningful conversations, writing, tarot, self-reflection, making plans, organizing thoughts, and finding solutions, to name a few.

Where am I giving away my power? I'm worried about where I belong, where I should go, what I should do, where my people are... AHHH!! Overthinking at its finest. I'm giving my power away to my never-ending need for CONTROL. I subconsciously worry about what my friends and family will think, or about being a failure because I don't have certain material possessions I "should" have at this point in my life, or because I don't have a successful relationship. This isn't me! Where did my confidence go?

1. I do not need anyone's approval to live my authentic life. 

2. I am taken care of. 

3. I trust my abilities. 

4. I have a higher plan. 

5. Everything in divine timing.

6. I am my higher self. 

Do I trust what I know deep down? In my gut, I know it's not the right move to keep relying on others for security. I have this illusion that it will help me save money or alleviate loneliness, but what it actually does is put me back in the same cycle of dependence. I'm putting my own security in the hands of others, and for what? My marriage failed, my toxic relationships failed, and my reliance on environments and people has never served me.

Conclusion

So what would happen if we were to choose a happier path for ourselves? It's time to fully come into our power. After all the self-reflection and tarot insights, we can see that we are in positions of power and can trust ourselves. Despite past setbacks and feelings of being stuck, we are fully supported, and everything happens for a reason, serving our highest good. The breakups, the feelings of homelessness, the uncertainty about our next steps - these aren't failures, but rather lessons from the universe, teaching us how to treat ourselves better and live up to our full potential.

Instead of avoiding recovery or feeling overwhelmed by change, let's lean into these lessons. We can release our need for control over every aspect of our lives and our fear of others' judgments. By letting go of idealized versions of what our lives "should" look like, we open ourselves to discover what truly brings us joy and aligns with our authentic selves. Whether it's being in a warmer climate, working around others, or engaging in meaningful conversations, we can focus on what genuinely sparks our passion.

As we move forward, let's embrace change, practice self-awareness, and allow abundance to flow into our lives. By trusting our intuition and breaking free from cycles of dependence, we can build our self-confidence and create a new chapter that truly resonates with who we are. Remember, we have the power to choose a happier path - one that aligns with our true selves and leads to genuine fulfillment.

Next Steps

1. If you found this blog helpful, check out my other posts on healthy relationships and self-care. If you're struggling, consider reaching out to a therapist or support group for help.

2. Work With Me: Set up an introductory 15-minute call with me to discuss your action plan and how I can help you achieve your goals.

3. Visit The Website: Find a wealth of resources, including detailed articles, guides, and tips on tarot and personal growth.

4. Read The Blog: Stay updated with the latest insights and advice on tarot, inner child healing, and self-improvement

5. Listen to The Podcast: Tune in for engaging discussions and interviews with experts in the field.

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