Birthday Reflections, Lessons, and What’s Next!
Reflections
Wow, 31 years of life and I can honestly say that was the best year of my life! Over the past year, I've undergone a profound personal transformation, one that has taught me invaluable lessons about balancing my emotions and intellect, trusting my intuition, and finding freedom and new beginnings. These experiences have not only shaped who I am today but have also set me on an exciting new trajectory for the future.
Ended a Toxic Relationship
I celebrated my 31st birthday in the charming city of Savannah, Georgia. My ex-boyfriend and I had spent a blissful week indulging in the local spa treatments, mouthwatering cuisine, and lively nightlife - a nostalgic return to a place I had once called home during my military days.
However, the rose-colored glow of our getaway couldn't mask the underlying turmoil in our relationship. I found myself teetering on the edge of the dreaded "discard phase" - that devastating point where an abusive partner decides you no longer serve their needs and casts you aside. A year ago, I might have done anything to cling to that connection, to save face and preserve the relationship at all costs.
But not anymore. After 12 months of hard-won recovery and self-discovery, I had reclaimed my power. I refused to abandon myself, to compromise my worth, just to appease someone else's selfish desires. This birthday marked a profound shift - a celebration of my strength, my resilience, and my unwavering commitment to honoring my authentic self, no matter the cost.
As I blew out the candles on my birthday cake, I made a silent vow to never again allow anyone to diminish my light. I was a force to be reckoned with, a woman fully in command of her own destiny.
Began Shadow Work
I knew that when my relationship came to an end, it was time to do the hard work. I was determined to get to the bottom of the patterns that had been holding me back, to finally break free from the cycle of pain and disappointment.With a renewed sense of purpose, I dove headfirst into a journey of self-discovery. Books on self-love and shadow work became my constant companions, each page offering invaluable insights and guidance. But it was Claudia Black's "Codependency No More" that truly made the biggest impact.
Through Black's compassionate and empowering words, I began to unpack the roots of my trauma - the childhood experiences that had shaped my relationship dynamics. The journal prompts she provided were like a roadmap, leading me on a profound exploration of my innermost thoughts and feelings.
It wasn't easy work, digging into the shadows of my past. But with each breakthrough, each moment of clarity, I felt a weight lifting from my shoulders. I was finally getting to the heart of the matter, understanding the core issues that had been sabotaging my happiness.
And as I continued down this path of self-discovery, I could feel the transformation taking hold. The once-bubbly, 30-something woman who had been dimming her light to please others was now fully reclaiming her power. I was stronger, more resilient, and more in touch with my authentic self than ever before.
Addressed My Mental Health
I was diagnosed with a panic disorder and ADHD - a revelation that has profoundly reshaped my life in the most empowering way. Gone are the days of relying on alcohol to cope with the crippling anxiety that once consumed me. Instead, I've found effective ways to manage my mental health, allowing me to finally experience the joys of being present and focused. Reading, an activity I once struggled with, has now become a cherished pastime, with more books devoured in the past year than ever before.
I take medication daily and I wake up feeling more grounded, more centered, and more in tune with the vibrant, bubbly woman I was always meant to be. The panic attacks and distractions that once held me back are now mere obstacles to overcome, fueling my determination to live life to the fullest.
Found Tarot
Shortly after, I found myself drawn to the mystical world of tarot. I had always been curious about the ancient art of card reading, but had never taken the plunge. That is, until I met Ween and Trish - two incredibly gifted tarot practitioners who would forever change the course of my journey.
Tarot is an ancient practice of divination that uses a deck of 78 cards to provide insight and guidance. The cards are divided into the Major Arcana, which represent major life events, and the Minor Arcana, which represent everyday occurrences. Tarot readings are meant to facilitate open and intuitive conversations, not simply predict the future. The cards act as a mirror, reflecting the reader's own inner wisdom and perspective.
My experiences have been nothing short of transformative. I leave every reading feeling empowered, enlightened, and more in touch with my intuition than ever before. It was a pivotal moment that inspired me to make tarot a regular part of my self-care routine. The tarot has become a trusted companion, a tool for unlocking the mysteries of my own soul. And for that, I will be forever grateful to Ween and Trish, who helped me find my way.
Started A Love Affair With Myself
I relished in the joys of solo living and self-exploration. For the first time in ages, I've had the freedom to truly get to know myself - and let me tell you, it's been an absolute blast! Gone are the days of compromising my needs for the sake of a relationship. Instead, I've been wholeheartedly indulging in the activities that bring me pure JOY.
Whether it's traveling to enchanting destinations like Mexico, where I ventured out on my own for the first time, or reconnecting with my beloved family, every experience has felt like a revelation. And let's not forget the 40 pounds I shed - talk about a total transformation! But the real magic has been in cultivating a deep, passionate love affair...with myself. I've never felt more confident, more alive, and more in tune with who I am.
The longer I've savored this single chapter, the less I find myself craving a relationship. Instead, I'm doing whatever the fuck I want! It's a giddy, liberating feeling, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Cut Ties With Relationships That No Longer Serve Me
My recent trip to California was a true turning point for me. As I wandered the sun-drenched streets and breathed in the crisp, coastal air, I found myself becoming increasingly clear on the vision for my life. It was as if the Golden State had pierced me with a sense of purpose and self-assuredness that I was missing.
Armed with this newfound clarity, I made the empowering decision to cut ties with the people in my life who were no longer serving my highest good. Gone were the toxic individuals who had been taking advantage of my kindness and dragging me down. In their place, I surrounded myself with those who truly aligned with the vibrant, confident woman I was becoming.
This act of self-preservation was liberating beyond measure. I no longer felt the need to dim my light or compromise my values for the sake of others. Instead, I was embracing my authentic self, unapologetically. It was as if a weight had been lifted, and I could finally breathe freely.
I Became An Aunt
I recently experienced one of the most profound and joyful moments of my life - becoming a first-time aunt. The moment I laid eyes on that precious little girl, I was utterly OBSESSED. She is the embodiment of pure, unadulterated bliss, radiating a contagious energy that has captivated my heart.
This tiny human is a force to be reckoned with - determined, focused, and bold in her own delightful way. She knows exactly what she wants, and she's not afraid to go after it. Watching her come into the world was a privilege I will cherish forever, forging an unbreakable bond that transcends the typical aunt-niece relationship.
Every moment I spend with this little bundle of joy is a masterclass in living life to the fullest. Her infectious happiness, her boundless curiosity, her unwavering spirit - it's the kind of vibrant energy that reminds me to approach each day with that same sense of wonder and enthusiasm. She is a true blessing, a constant source of inspiration and joy in my life.
I feel incredibly fortunate to have been entrusted with the honor of being this child's aunt. To witness her growth, to nurture her dreams, to be a steadfast pillar of support - it's a responsibility I wear with the utmost pride. This little girl has already left an indelible mark on my heart, and I know that our special connection will only continue to blossom and deepen as she embarks on her incredible journey through life.
Lessons
Lesson 1: Love Myself Unconditionally
Nobody will love you like you love yourself. I really had no idea how much of a difference it makes when you truly love yourself unconditionally. I will NEVER let anyone treat me bad. If you don’t treat me better than I treat myself, then bye! Loving myself first has realigned my relationships and those I keep in my tribe. I want to grow and I want to surround myself with individuals who vibe higher than me!
Lesson 2: Trusting My Intuition
Your body will literally tell you the answer, you just have to listen. I know if I feel off about something to just listen to it. I found that my intuition was a powerful guiding force. Initially, I was hesitant to trust my instincts, preferring to rely on logic and reason. However, I soon discovered that by listening to my inner voice, I was able to make more authentic choices that aligned with my values and desires. This newfound trust in my intuition has empowered me to take bold steps and embrace opportunities that have enriched my life.
Lesson 3: Finding Freedom and New Beginnings
The journey of self-discovery has led me to a place of profound freedom and new beginnings. By letting go of limiting beliefs and embracing the unknown, I have opened myself up to a world of possibilities. This sense of liberation has allowed me to pursue my passions, forge meaningful connections, and embark on a path that truly fulfills me.
What's Next
Reflecting on my lessons, I am excited to share that I am embarking on a new chapter in my life. I have decided to develop a new skill in manifestation; I will graduate with my master's degree next month, I started this business, and I want to focus more on writing my workbooks, building a supportive community of badass women, and so much more, sell my house and travel, and genuinely enjoy my life. This decision was not made lightly but is the result of the personal growth and self-awareness I have gained over the past year. I am confident this next phase will be filled with adventure, personal growth, and a more profound sense of purpose!
Journal Prompts
Balancing Emotions and Intellect
Describe a time when you relied too heavily on your intellect and neglected your emotional needs. How did this impact your decision-making and overall well-being?
What strategies can you implement to strike a better balance between your emotions and intellect? How can you ensure you are addressing both aspects of yourself?
Reflect on a recent decision you made. How did you incorporate both your emotional and intellectual perspectives? What did you learn from this experience?
Trusting Your Intuition
When have you ignored your intuition in the past, only to later realize you should have listened to your inner voice? What was the outcome?
Describe a time when you trusted your intuition and it led you to a positive outcome. How did this experience impact your confidence in your intuitive abilities?
What practices can you adopt to strengthen your connection to your intuition? How can you learn to discern your intuitive guidance from your logical mind?
Finding Freedom and New Beginnings
What limiting beliefs or fears have been holding you back from pursuing your true desires and passions? How can you work to let go of these constraints?
Imagine yourself embracing the unknown and embarking on a path of self-discovery. What does this future look like? What new possibilities excite you?
Reflect on a major life transition you've experienced. How did you navigate the challenges and find the courage to step into the unknown? What did you learn about yourself in the process?